traffic and secret visitors

I should have stayed home sick today. Apparently there is a visitor coming in at one today. No one in upper management will tell us who it is. For some reason it’s like pulling teeth when I asked a few people. What is the big fucking secret? All I want to know is if the visitor will be asking us questions. Sometimes they do that, and I’d like to be prepared. This is so random! Everyone is walking on eggshells and we were told to watch our P’s and Q’s. I don’t get it. Are they selling the company?

They even took down the offensive things at my desk. For example: My 2 year anniversary card (because that’s so offensive), the mouse someone made for me for Christmas out of felt and a candy cane, my HP stationary, my new Pirates calendar, my mini southpark character, and all of my action figurines. Even my Chicago mug got the axe, I use it to hold highlighters. How in the hell could any of those things be offensive? I’m sorry if you have an adversion to Pirates and Chicago. Don’t look at my desk then. Douche.

I knew this was going to be the day from hell when I got in my car. Funny how little things like frost can ruin your day. I didn’t want to scrape so I just blasted the defrost. I had plenty of time. After all I left 15 minutes early to go get coffee. Innocently enough, then I decided to listen to the radio. Traffic reports, ok sweet I’ll know what’s going on. A car flipped over on 94 and 394. Shit!

Ok it’s fine, that’s 5 exits past mine so the worst that can happen is it’ll be a little blocked up by my exit right? Wrong. Oh so wrong. It was bumper to bumper at the Cretin-Vandaila exit. Sweet! By the time I made it to my exit there were about 50 cars ahead of me trying to get off to avoid the traffic. Great for them, but not so much for me. It literally took me 20 minutes to get up to the end of my exit. What the fuck?

How does one flip their car on the freeway? You have to be some kind of special to do that. Seriously! (This statement does not contain a 10th of the rage that I had today!)

And when I finally made it to my street I see these huge road closed signs. They’re painting lines on my street. HELLO? IT’S 30 DEGREES OUT. THE ROAD IS COVERED IN ICE AND SALT. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CITY THINKING???

So I said “FUCK IT!” and drove in a huge circle to get there. But first I stopped for a hamburger. Because I was hungry and cranky! And now I’m sitting here 37 minutes into my day doing deep breathing exercises. I really need a new job.

UPDATE: It was a fuel truck that flipped and dumped gas all over. So today is an actual possibility of many people perishing in flames. VBP is excited about this.