growing up to do? ass

I’m sticking to my theory. If I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any at all. I surprise myself sometimes with the profound and prolific shit I come up with. I should trademark that one. I want to make money off of it and retire on that someday.

So this morning was like any other. Except when I woke up at 8:30 in a panic because I realized today is Friday and I work early. My alarm was set for ten. I went to bed at 2:45. I can’t go to bed early lately to save my life. So anyway I laid there for a few minutes, because even though I only had 23 minutes to get ready I was already in procrastination mode. And really, who gives a shit?

I came in with the attitude that I was getting fired anyway. I do every Friday. It’s just how I roll. Besides that’s when they do it anyway, I know that if I’ve made it until 2 p.m. on a Friday I’ve lived to see another week. Great working environment, right?

Back to this morning, I finally deigned myself to get out of bed at 8:39. Stepped out of bed and I immediately fell when my foot got hooked in my purse strap. I went down hard too, timber! My Mom wanted to know why she heard me scream “No!!!! Fuck!!!!” this morning, one evil look and that shit was silenced.

After that I kind of resigned myself that today was going to be shit. I rushed around getting ready, no time for a shower. Greasy hair, gag! Ok, it’s not that bad actually. I couldn’t find any clean underwear so I said fuck it. Commando is the way to go. Forgot to heat up my car and ran out the door on time. I even remembered my Rockstar!

While driving to work going 70 MPH in a 55 MPH (as usual), I noticed lights in my mirror. Great! I was pulled over, he said I was driving recklessly and he noticed my vehicle is dangerous because my bumper is hanging off. Really jackass? Did you get that all by yourself? What a prick. No ticket though, I would be breathing fire if I got one.

I made it here for the day, only a minute late. Thinking that if I do get fired it would be the greatest day ever! That would mean I could go home and crawl back under my covers! But alas, it was not meant to be. At 10:30 my boss told me I would be up front all day (JOY!) and that she was leaving too. Hooker, I wanted to go home early.

This guy I work with, see Chinese children killing in a recent post for more info, has a girlfriend. I’m not so delusional that I think we we’re going to get married instantly, no I was thinking more this summer with only a small selection of people we actually like. See, I don’t go overboard on my delusions. Ok, back to reality. Anyway, she is hideous. I know I’m not a beauty queen or anything, but oh my lord! She looks like she’s about 40 and still dresses like a tween with the same attitude. A Monet, if you will. Now my opinion of him has dropped, how can I love someone who doesn’t love themselves? Sigh.

Last night the guy I’m no longer seeing and I did the required exchange. The here’s all of your shit and I want my shit back too type thing. It was awkward. I walked in and he was sitting in the living room sorting shit, he didn’t even say a word. Just pointed to his bedroom… ok weirdo! I walked back there and saw all of my crap in a neat little pile, threw everything in a bag and decided to high tail it out of there. When I walked by him he said “After all of this aren’t you going to give me a hug?” That led to awkward hugging and him trying to make out with me. I put the kibosh to that really quickly. I don’t want unresolved feelings floating out there. I can’t deal with that, I’m an emotional basket case right now, with or without him making me feel like I should tell him not to go.

But I was glad I didn’t, because that fucker had the nerve to talk about this singer we both like, ok maybe I shouldn’t even go into this but for some strange reason boys like to leave me with a parting gift of a song. A song that I will undoubtedly listen to and torture myself with for years to come. It’s happened before, it’ll happen again. I don’t get what I do that inspires boys to think of me when sad songs come on. I know I’m awesome, but you telling me that through poignant music isn’t cool. PEOPLE DON’T FORGET!

Sorry, tiger got out of the cage. Anyway, some of the lyrics include;

I’ve been down this road before
I walk out the door
Leave you on the floor
Sometimes you run and hide
You’re foolish prides
What keeps me from giving you more
So the best thing I can give to you
Is for me to go, leave you alone
Cause you’ve got growing up to do
Someday I’ll return when it’s time
For payment in kind
The church bells will chime
You’ll stand before me surrounded by lights
Dressed in white
You’ll throw flowers in the air, this night

‘You’ve Got Growin Up To Do’ Joshua Radin

Wow… Ok so I’m an immature bitch who will beg for your return and then you’ll marry me? I don’t think so buster. You’ll be sorry when I never talk to your dumb ass again, starting now. What an ass!

That’s all for now, still reeling about the last part. I’m up front all day, yay for me.

Hopefully this weekend will rock, Satan and I need to do group therapy. As she says “I want to drink until I can’t feel feelings!” Classic!