punch toddlers!

In the soft spot, with brass knuckles.

I don’t think I can even get the words out today. It’s been that bad.

I am ANGRY.

I am CRABBY.

I am FUCKING ENRAGED.

The last couple of days have been horrible. I wrote how I found out about my friend Josh being in an accident yesterday. I even blogged to get my mind off of it, that didn’t work so well. I didn’t have any of the information and no one was answering me.

I finally talked to Ian last night. Apparently he was on a motorcycle with a girl (I didn’t think he even rode motorcycles, he doesn’t do it well in any case!) and a car cut them off. They went into a ditch off of the highway. She wasn’t hurt, only abrasions and some bruising. He took the brunt of the force, she flew into him too. That probably didn’t help matters much.

DUMB FUCKING RETARD WASN’T WEARING A HELMET. SHE WAS! IT’S NICE TO BE GENTLEMANLY AND WHAT NOT, BUT WHEN YOUR LIFE IS AT STAKE? WHY NOT JUST RIDE IN A CAR. RETARD! HOW DARE HE MAKE ME WORRY!

Sorry, sudden outburst as Satan would say.

Anyway, he had a punctured lung and had some minimal internal bleeding. From hitting the handlebars and then going over them when they fell over in the dirt, he has a concussion and can’t remember the accident or what happened. Luckily she can and she got the drivers plates too. He ran from the scene. Quality human being, I want to castrate him. Ugh.

He is still in the hospital; they moved him from the ICU to the recovery floor. He was awake a little bit yesterday, but today he’s been up all day. Apparently he looks like hell. Luckily Ian was in California on business so he just flew down there when he got the news. John on the other hand is a dickhead and doesn’t care enough to visit him.

I am too. I looked up flights and they’re running about a grand. Hmm… nope. I can’t afford that. Ian offered to pay my way and I was considering it but I actually talked to Josh for a few minutes today and he said not to worry. He’d be out by the middle of next week and it’s not worth it to fly down. This made me feel worse, now I want to go down there! I just don’t want to be in someone’s debt, especially Ian’s. No thanks asshole.

Anyway it was a relief to find out what happened, side note; the girl he was with wants to get plastic surgery done on her leg for the scrapes. Ian said they weren’t even that bad. I was like ‘where does he find them?’ he said ‘under rocks and in gullies.’ Which is an inside joke we have and it bothers me that I’m slipping back into that pattern with him. But for now I can’t really help it, I want to be in the loop with Josh. And fucking Ian is the loop. Oh what twisted webs we do weave.

So I went to bed exhausted last night, I literally felt like crying all day. I locked my keys in my car, I find out about him, the weather. It all hit me, depression sunk in. I forced it away and went to sleep. That didn’t last long.

FUCKING BRYAN CALLED ME AT 1:30AM! Asshole. I don’t know if I could ever talk to him or fuck with him again. I don’t want to see, hear, touch, smell or taste (ick did I say taste, VBP!) him for a very long time. He had the nerve to wake me up on a week night and call to say that he found a cool dive bar where the bartender is awesome, and to ask me “what does it mean when you go down on a girl and it tastes like a warm ham sandwich?”

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

I freaked out on him, he apologized and I hung up on him. He then proceeded to call me back about ten times. I left my ringer on so I could hear Ian called in case anything happened with Josh. So I had to lay there and check every time someone called. I was up until 3AM. I can’t even believe a 28 year old would act like that. Jesus Christ!

I woke up thirty minutes before I had to go, I look like ass today. I forgot my iPod. I didn’t brush my teeth. I drank a Rockstar and now I have heartburn. I am upset. People keep giving me bullshit projects to do and SFB left early today. Why? Because she wanted to go to a movie with her nephew, you couldn’t go to one at 3:30. You get off earlier than everyone. BITCH! UGH!

The last couple of days have been crap. I would like a redo. I am excited to meet Angel tonight though, I love that Satan is getting a dog named Angel. It’s like the world works in mysterious ways. Hee. That has been my beacon of hope today, that and planning our Seattle trip which fyi is now only 40 days.

Eye twitching, arm muscle jumping, signing off before I have a rage stroke.

Kisses!

*Muah*