inanimate objects

I've been slacking really hard lately, I've been meaning to post a bunch of stuff so I'll try to do that now. I'm going to do these in mini posts because I don't think I can relay all of the shit that has happened to me in one blog, it would be a novel!

Lets start with movies I've seen lately, shall we?

Lars and the Real Girl

I read a few reviews for this one and on the urging of Josh I rented it from the library. I actually liked it. I had a few reservations when it first started, but all in all it was good. Here are some of the texts I sent Satan while viewing...

Omfg. This movie is bizarre - LMAO. - I wasn't really paying attention, actually I was painting my nails and when it started to get good it did so by shocking the shit out of me.

The reaction to seeing his doll for the first time was fucking priceless. - That was from his brother and sister-in-law. They deserve Oscars for the looks they had. It was a combo of scared/humorous/disgust/fascination that I hope to sometime soon perfect so I can bust it out at random times and scare people.

Umm the doll just died. Tell me why I'm sad? Because I am. - I really was, I was getting attached.

OMG Bianca's dead. LMAO I'm going to cry. - Don't tell anyone, but I did. They are such good actors. I felt like a real person died, and then I felt disgust for myself for thinking a inanimate object had any emotions, then in the end I was still sad. I'm sick in the face.

In Bruges

I've seen this one a few times. I absolutely love that shit. It's dark as hell, sadistic, sarcastic and awesome. I could go on but I strongly suggest that you see it. Some texts I sent Satan were...

LMAO like a big fat fucking retarded fucking black girl on a seesaw. Oof - Racist as hell. I approve.

He just karate chopped a midget! I love this fucking movie - The way Colin Farrell said 'back off shorty!' busts me up even to type it. In fact, I love this movie so much I want to capture it forever with some quotes pulled from IMDB. Think of this as a gift to you...

Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't.

Ray: What are they doing over there? They're filming something. They're filming midgets!
Ken: Ray... [Ray runs off and watches Jimmy being instructed by the director, who Jimmy flicks off as soon as he leaves]
Ken: Ray, come on. Let's go.
Ray: Fuck off, Ken. They're filming midgets.

Harry: [to wife] You're an inanimate fuckin' object!

Harry: [to Yuri] An Uzi? I'm not from South Central Los Angeles. I didn't come here to shoot twenty black ten year olds in a drive-by. I want a normal gun for a normal person.

Ray: I don't hit women. I would never hit a woman, Chloe. I'd hit a woman who was trying to hit me with a bottle. That's different. That's self-defense, isn't it? Or a woman who could do karate. I would never hit a woman generally, Chloe.

Harry: Number One, why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in? Number Two, why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemail and not have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist? Number Three, you better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there'll be fucking hell to pay. I'm fucking telling you - Harry.

Ray: [reading Harry's profanity-ridden message] Geez, he's swears a lot, doesn't he?

And there you have it... Don't say I never give you anything... muah.