This is my last will and testament, Satan can have any of my worldly processions that she wants. I want a Viking funeral and for Satan to MC it. I'm hoping some sort of celebrity can stop by. If not then at least an awesome DJ.
I'm in sick delusional fantasy mode.
Today is complete and utter bullshit.
I have walking pneumonia.
I tried to call in sick, but my boss wouldn't let me.
I feel like I'm dying... I know I have a tendency to lean towards the dramatic.
BUT OH MY GOD. I FEEL LIKE SHIT!!!
I think I'm going to cry, today is the worst.
Only 6 hours and 25 minutes to go.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
dramz and blackout rage
Crabby SOB, is what I’m describing my mood as today. I woke up tired as shit, still. I even got a good seven hours. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I have mono. Oh god, what if I have mono? No, let’s not open the hypochondriac thoughts in my mind because I’ll go on to WebMD and then I’m screwed!
I woke up late, as usual. Ate breakfast and choked on cereal. Didn’t have the time or energy to take a shower and left for work in a mood. I was determined for it to not be a bad day. I willed it even! But as soon as I got here SFB looked at me and I just knew the cunt was leaving. Yes, I was correct in that assumption.
Her back hurt. And she’s really tired…
I really have no words. The anger coursing through my veins is hazardous to my health.
So my day has taken a turn for the worse, and I’ve only been here for 45 minutes. Sweet!
Last night was hilarious, so I was at work when I noticed my cell was ringing. I looked and it was Bryan. No big deal, I hit ignore. Well, ignore wouldn’t do because he called 5 five times! I knew I was busted. But part of me was like who gives a shit! He was the one who moved, he was the one who made it pretty fucking clear that he wouldn’t be making any trips back to see me. Was I supposed to pine for him?
Apparently I was. Oof. I’m pretty sure the first question out of his mouth was “So are you fucking him?” SEG right now, I played dumb of course. The call consisted of a lot of accusations and name calling. Yeah apparently I’m a whore because he’s younger than I am. Bryan is almost 6 years older than I am. Whatever makes you sleep better at night, ass!
In the end I hung up on him and called Satan. She said I should call Jase (I need new nicknames for both!) before Bryan did. I was beaten to that punch, he must have called right after I hung up on him. Oh well, Jase was adorable and said all the right things. And we’re still on for this weekend. Sigh, I love dramz. It’s and illness!
I was waiting for a bitchy text or another call from Bryan, but I got nothing. Which is weird so I’m still keeping that guard up… He’s a dick so I’m not taking any chances.
This is going to be the longest day ever… Sniff.
I woke up late, as usual. Ate breakfast and choked on cereal. Didn’t have the time or energy to take a shower and left for work in a mood. I was determined for it to not be a bad day. I willed it even! But as soon as I got here SFB looked at me and I just knew the cunt was leaving. Yes, I was correct in that assumption.
Her back hurt. And she’s really tired…
I really have no words. The anger coursing through my veins is hazardous to my health.
So my day has taken a turn for the worse, and I’ve only been here for 45 minutes. Sweet!
Last night was hilarious, so I was at work when I noticed my cell was ringing. I looked and it was Bryan. No big deal, I hit ignore. Well, ignore wouldn’t do because he called 5 five times! I knew I was busted. But part of me was like who gives a shit! He was the one who moved, he was the one who made it pretty fucking clear that he wouldn’t be making any trips back to see me. Was I supposed to pine for him?
Apparently I was. Oof. I’m pretty sure the first question out of his mouth was “So are you fucking him?” SEG right now, I played dumb of course. The call consisted of a lot of accusations and name calling. Yeah apparently I’m a whore because he’s younger than I am. Bryan is almost 6 years older than I am. Whatever makes you sleep better at night, ass!
In the end I hung up on him and called Satan. She said I should call Jase (I need new nicknames for both!) before Bryan did. I was beaten to that punch, he must have called right after I hung up on him. Oh well, Jase was adorable and said all the right things. And we’re still on for this weekend. Sigh, I love dramz. It’s and illness!
I was waiting for a bitchy text or another call from Bryan, but I got nothing. Which is weird so I’m still keeping that guard up… He’s a dick so I’m not taking any chances.
This is going to be the longest day ever… Sniff.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
hoo hoo's, hoo ha's and me
I'm having serious issues this week. I can't sleep at night and I can't stay awake during the day. I'm about ready to have a nervous breakdown, or something.
I'm so tired today that I tried to take a nap in my car, unfortunately my alarm on my phone is a piece of shit, so I couldn't. I'm buying a new one this weekend. I just can't take this shit anymore. I need something that works and that I haven't had for two fucking years!
I have four hours left of work and I don't know if I can do it, I'm not being cute or funny right now. I'm so tired. I'm just trying to stay awake and it's making me do crazy things. Like sing to myself at work, people can hear me! I also took my shoes off and put one in my lap so if I do fall asleep it'll fall off and wake me up. I want to cry.
ManChild called me this morning and asked if I wanted to do something this weekend. Finally! I've been waiting for him to ask, it's been 5 days after all. I'm not sure what or even when but tentatively I'm going out. I just hope my sleep shit is squared away before then, otherwise I'm telling him to rent a hotel room. No not for naughty things, I tell him he has to sleep with me. Bet that'd go over pretty well. Sigh.
Satan's last post made me sad, in a good way. We've become the best of friends over the last year, and I wouldn't change anything about it. I'm feeling nostalgic today. I think it's the lack of sleep, or the lack of mental stability going on. Either way, I'm glad she's my friend!
I'm going blond on Friday, I'm pretty excited. I need something new, I need some spice in my life. And if highlighting does the trick then fuck it, let it fry!
I need to write a will, not that I plan on dying or anything but I think it might be smart. Because I have some very specific wishes for what they do with my remains. I want a Viking funeral. I want to be shoved out on the ocean on a little wood raft and then lit on fire with a bow and arrow. Doesn't that sound awesome?
If I had to settle though, I want to be cremated and certain parts of me left in various areas. One would be the beach where I always went swimming, some in Haunauma Bay, some on the North Shore and other places. I want to float on the winds and water forever. Wow, where in the hell did that come from. Please don't contact the authorities, I don't plan on harming myself.
I got my nails did for free the other day, these fucking eagle talons are a bitch to type, write, itch, pick and to do just about anything with. I do have ADD and like clicking and tapping them on hard surfaces though.
I just remembered a funny story. When I was just about to be a freshman we lived in Aina Haina in a condo. It had a huge flight of stairs to the second floor and one night my Dad fell down them. I was sitting in my room and I heard this boom, bang, "Ouch!" "Fuck!" bang boom. Then silence. I remember running out to see and there was my Dad all ass over backwards, arm splayed in a funny angle and looking pissed, and I had the nerve to ask "Did you fall?" I couldn't help myself. I got a very surly "You think?" I still giggle about that one. Just too think of him all awkward laying there gives me a giggling conniption. Ah memories.
I love others pain obviously.
Sick in the face.
This is how tired I am, I just typed Sock in the face and giggled for about 5 minutes before just fixing it. Jesus, I will go on a psychotic break very shortly.
Last weekend was fun, apparently I had a few too many on Friday. Saturday was a blast. Even though I was tired as shit and had 3 huge energy drinks and my stomach did some funny things. I vividly remember a long conversation about Hoo Hoo's and Hoo Ha's. Also one of the funniest quotes ever "You're either a butt girl or your not!" Said so matter of fact at Sex World that it made sense. Those girls are a riot.
Satan and I made a loose pact that says we aren't going to drink until summer. I mean one or two but none until it's warm enough to go downtown. I don't know if it'll last, or even if it's a pact for that matter but we agreed so let's see how we do. She is exempt this weekend though, open bars are a deal breaker. Jealous as hell of her is what I am. I haven't been to an open bar in years. God created me for a reason!
Well, this is probably a long and random one so I'm signing off now. Don't know if I'll be posting much this week, I plan on sleeping. A lot.
I'm so tired today that I tried to take a nap in my car, unfortunately my alarm on my phone is a piece of shit, so I couldn't. I'm buying a new one this weekend. I just can't take this shit anymore. I need something that works and that I haven't had for two fucking years!
I have four hours left of work and I don't know if I can do it, I'm not being cute or funny right now. I'm so tired. I'm just trying to stay awake and it's making me do crazy things. Like sing to myself at work, people can hear me! I also took my shoes off and put one in my lap so if I do fall asleep it'll fall off and wake me up. I want to cry.
ManChild called me this morning and asked if I wanted to do something this weekend. Finally! I've been waiting for him to ask, it's been 5 days after all. I'm not sure what or even when but tentatively I'm going out. I just hope my sleep shit is squared away before then, otherwise I'm telling him to rent a hotel room. No not for naughty things, I tell him he has to sleep with me. Bet that'd go over pretty well. Sigh.
Satan's last post made me sad, in a good way. We've become the best of friends over the last year, and I wouldn't change anything about it. I'm feeling nostalgic today. I think it's the lack of sleep, or the lack of mental stability going on. Either way, I'm glad she's my friend!
I'm going blond on Friday, I'm pretty excited. I need something new, I need some spice in my life. And if highlighting does the trick then fuck it, let it fry!
I need to write a will, not that I plan on dying or anything but I think it might be smart. Because I have some very specific wishes for what they do with my remains. I want a Viking funeral. I want to be shoved out on the ocean on a little wood raft and then lit on fire with a bow and arrow. Doesn't that sound awesome?
If I had to settle though, I want to be cremated and certain parts of me left in various areas. One would be the beach where I always went swimming, some in Haunauma Bay, some on the North Shore and other places. I want to float on the winds and water forever. Wow, where in the hell did that come from. Please don't contact the authorities, I don't plan on harming myself.
I got my nails did for free the other day, these fucking eagle talons are a bitch to type, write, itch, pick and to do just about anything with. I do have ADD and like clicking and tapping them on hard surfaces though.
I just remembered a funny story. When I was just about to be a freshman we lived in Aina Haina in a condo. It had a huge flight of stairs to the second floor and one night my Dad fell down them. I was sitting in my room and I heard this boom, bang, "Ouch!" "Fuck!" bang boom. Then silence. I remember running out to see and there was my Dad all ass over backwards, arm splayed in a funny angle and looking pissed, and I had the nerve to ask "Did you fall?" I couldn't help myself. I got a very surly "You think?" I still giggle about that one. Just too think of him all awkward laying there gives me a giggling conniption. Ah memories.
I love others pain obviously.
Sick in the face.
This is how tired I am, I just typed Sock in the face and giggled for about 5 minutes before just fixing it. Jesus, I will go on a psychotic break very shortly.
Last weekend was fun, apparently I had a few too many on Friday. Saturday was a blast. Even though I was tired as shit and had 3 huge energy drinks and my stomach did some funny things. I vividly remember a long conversation about Hoo Hoo's and Hoo Ha's. Also one of the funniest quotes ever "You're either a butt girl or your not!" Said so matter of fact at Sex World that it made sense. Those girls are a riot.
Satan and I made a loose pact that says we aren't going to drink until summer. I mean one or two but none until it's warm enough to go downtown. I don't know if it'll last, or even if it's a pact for that matter but we agreed so let's see how we do. She is exempt this weekend though, open bars are a deal breaker. Jealous as hell of her is what I am. I haven't been to an open bar in years. God created me for a reason!
Well, this is probably a long and random one so I'm signing off now. Don't know if I'll be posting much this week, I plan on sleeping. A lot.
Friday, March 7, 2008
musical selections and first dates
My date was nice.
He’s really sweet and funny.
In fact we have a lot in common.
He loves music so we talked about that and life plans. It was a nice change of pace. It was funny because I thought last night that he would be bad to break up with because he would pick the perfect song to gift me. Satan even said that this morning… Interesting. But he was really nice. And I wont be saying no, if he asks me out again that is.
We went to Cafe123. Nice but kind of pricey, for 2 appetizers and 6 glasses of wine he dropped like a hundred. It’s nice to know that I’m worth $50 an hour. Hot commodity here. Vain much?
I had 4 glasses of wine, didn’t feel a thing. Felt it this morning though, it felt like my brain was trying to escape through my eye sockets. No more, never. I will not drink more than a glass or two. That was ridiculous!
I got home last night and called Satan, I had dropped my cell in his car so when I went to the bathroom to text her I couldn’t. I would have felt weird asking for his keys, so I just controlled my urges and called her the first moment I could. She was hammed. Twas hilarious, I’m pretty sure I goaded her into texting Dickhead something terrible! VBP. We’ll see if he ever responds to that one. If so, hilarity all around! Pretty sure she made me giggle by saying something to the affect that she was in the bathroom and her date couldn’t come in because “it’s a girls place!” Cracked my shit up!
All and all it was a nice time. I kinda hope he calls again, I need more romance in my life. AKA dramz. I live for that shit, and he’s snarky so I feel like he could provide that for me. It was weird talking about Bryan though, it was like he was saying well now that part of your life is over we can hang out. Little does he know that Bryan text me three times during our date. Very glad I didn’t have my phone!
This weekend should be fun, Friday we’re going to OUR SPOT. I enjoy saying that, because it is. Fuck them, if they’re too scared to come that’s their problem not ours. We would never intentionally make them feel not welcome, or uncomfortable. We’re really nice girls! I mean come on. He he he. Saturday, is an impromptu bachelorette party. I’m kind of excited for that one. I love Sex World, it’s just so dirty and gross.
My boss left early today so I’m free to do nothing. I love it. Except I’m having underwear issues, they’re new too. Which pisses me off the most! I didn’t just spend $12 on them for them to roll down my ass when I stand up to talk to people. It is kind of fun to try to keep a straight face while it happens, I’m sick. Trust that I know that.
Sigh. I’ve been pretend working for about 2 hours now and it’s getting old. I’m glad I put some new music on my ipod the other day. I got some Warpaint by The Black Crows. Delightful… I also got some Jamie Cullum, British guys just do it for me. In fact I got some Irish stuff too, Flogging Molly and Bell X1. I’m trying to broaden my musical horizons and accents just do it for me. Ugh, sexy. Kate Nash, The Brothers Johnson, Paulo Nutini, System of a Down and a few others round out my new selections. God, I’m so eclectic it hurts.
Sorry, don’t know why I went all musical on ya’ll.
I ordered like 10 books from Amazon the other day, I’m excited to have something to do that will save me money. I need to stop with this buying shit, but at least they will keep me entertained when I’m in jail. That way I can save for Seattle. (Wonder if the next place we go will start with an ‘S’?)
Ok, random I know. I’ll stop now. Promise. Pinky Swear!
He’s really sweet and funny.
In fact we have a lot in common.
He loves music so we talked about that and life plans. It was a nice change of pace. It was funny because I thought last night that he would be bad to break up with because he would pick the perfect song to gift me. Satan even said that this morning… Interesting. But he was really nice. And I wont be saying no, if he asks me out again that is.
We went to Cafe123. Nice but kind of pricey, for 2 appetizers and 6 glasses of wine he dropped like a hundred. It’s nice to know that I’m worth $50 an hour. Hot commodity here. Vain much?
I had 4 glasses of wine, didn’t feel a thing. Felt it this morning though, it felt like my brain was trying to escape through my eye sockets. No more, never. I will not drink more than a glass or two. That was ridiculous!
I got home last night and called Satan, I had dropped my cell in his car so when I went to the bathroom to text her I couldn’t. I would have felt weird asking for his keys, so I just controlled my urges and called her the first moment I could. She was hammed. Twas hilarious, I’m pretty sure I goaded her into texting Dickhead something terrible! VBP. We’ll see if he ever responds to that one. If so, hilarity all around! Pretty sure she made me giggle by saying something to the affect that she was in the bathroom and her date couldn’t come in because “it’s a girls place!” Cracked my shit up!
All and all it was a nice time. I kinda hope he calls again, I need more romance in my life. AKA dramz. I live for that shit, and he’s snarky so I feel like he could provide that for me. It was weird talking about Bryan though, it was like he was saying well now that part of your life is over we can hang out. Little does he know that Bryan text me three times during our date. Very glad I didn’t have my phone!
This weekend should be fun, Friday we’re going to OUR SPOT. I enjoy saying that, because it is. Fuck them, if they’re too scared to come that’s their problem not ours. We would never intentionally make them feel not welcome, or uncomfortable. We’re really nice girls! I mean come on. He he he. Saturday, is an impromptu bachelorette party. I’m kind of excited for that one. I love Sex World, it’s just so dirty and gross.
My boss left early today so I’m free to do nothing. I love it. Except I’m having underwear issues, they’re new too. Which pisses me off the most! I didn’t just spend $12 on them for them to roll down my ass when I stand up to talk to people. It is kind of fun to try to keep a straight face while it happens, I’m sick. Trust that I know that.
Sigh. I’ve been pretend working for about 2 hours now and it’s getting old. I’m glad I put some new music on my ipod the other day. I got some Warpaint by The Black Crows. Delightful… I also got some Jamie Cullum, British guys just do it for me. In fact I got some Irish stuff too, Flogging Molly and Bell X1. I’m trying to broaden my musical horizons and accents just do it for me. Ugh, sexy. Kate Nash, The Brothers Johnson, Paulo Nutini, System of a Down and a few others round out my new selections. God, I’m so eclectic it hurts.
Sorry, don’t know why I went all musical on ya’ll.
I ordered like 10 books from Amazon the other day, I’m excited to have something to do that will save me money. I need to stop with this buying shit, but at least they will keep me entertained when I’m in jail. That way I can save for Seattle. (Wonder if the next place we go will start with an ‘S’?)
Ok, random I know. I’ll stop now. Promise. Pinky Swear!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
smelly feet and first dates
I can smell feet. Disgusting, sweaty, foul feet! This is a place of business, at least do us the common courtesy of washing yourself before you come in. I am so beyond repulsed right now. I want to retch in the trashcan. You’re gross!
I haven’t posted in a while, it’s the bronchitis. Actually, I think I’ve been a teeny bit depressed recently. I started my week out on a shitty note, I talked to Ian. It bothered me that he needed to call me and tell me that he is seeing a new girl. I don’t call him and tell him about my love life, not that I have one. But it seems odd, why now? So of course all week I’ve been dreaming about him, last night was a particularly disturbing one. They seem so real and when I wake up I feel disgusted with myself! It’s been a long time, I thought I was over this bullshit. Obviously you can’t trick your mind into not caring.
SFB took a short day. AGAIN! Ugh. She needed to clean her apartment. If that isn’t the most ridiculous excuse I don’t know what is… Next it’ll be a hangnail!
I’m pretty excited about Seattle now! My Dad is willing to pay Satan and my way, so that helps. Not sure if SF#2 is going. Satan and I are plotting evil to make her not want to go. Sad thing is I don’t really feel bad, she’s fucked me around too much on this one.
Satan and I need to be ridiculous about this trip just like San Fran, I’ve decided we’ll use the same book and planning methods. It’ll be our Vacation Book. Sigh, this is going to be awesome. I’m getting a guide this weekend, no ifs ands or buts.
I have a date tonight with Jase, I need to come up with a good nickname for him. Maybe ManChild or something about his age… Hmm, tough one! He’s taking me to Cafe123. Never been, so that’s a nice change of pace. I sort of hate going to places you’ve been for dates. The point is to try something new and experience it together. We need something to bond over people! I’ll update you on developments.
This post is way random. I’m trying to think of all the things I needed to vent about. Coming up short, can’t remember half of the things that happened to me.
I have a headache, I think it’s from the smell.
P.S. SF#2 cell’s been turned off. Kind of want to not call her and then when she calls I’ll say well I tried to get a hold of you and you’re phone was off so I made plans to do this instead. Hooker. I think I’m going to.
I haven’t posted in a while, it’s the bronchitis. Actually, I think I’ve been a teeny bit depressed recently. I started my week out on a shitty note, I talked to Ian. It bothered me that he needed to call me and tell me that he is seeing a new girl. I don’t call him and tell him about my love life, not that I have one. But it seems odd, why now? So of course all week I’ve been dreaming about him, last night was a particularly disturbing one. They seem so real and when I wake up I feel disgusted with myself! It’s been a long time, I thought I was over this bullshit. Obviously you can’t trick your mind into not caring.
SFB took a short day. AGAIN! Ugh. She needed to clean her apartment. If that isn’t the most ridiculous excuse I don’t know what is… Next it’ll be a hangnail!
I’m pretty excited about Seattle now! My Dad is willing to pay Satan and my way, so that helps. Not sure if SF#2 is going. Satan and I are plotting evil to make her not want to go. Sad thing is I don’t really feel bad, she’s fucked me around too much on this one.
Satan and I need to be ridiculous about this trip just like San Fran, I’ve decided we’ll use the same book and planning methods. It’ll be our Vacation Book. Sigh, this is going to be awesome. I’m getting a guide this weekend, no ifs ands or buts.
I have a date tonight with Jase, I need to come up with a good nickname for him. Maybe ManChild or something about his age… Hmm, tough one! He’s taking me to Cafe123. Never been, so that’s a nice change of pace. I sort of hate going to places you’ve been for dates. The point is to try something new and experience it together. We need something to bond over people! I’ll update you on developments.
This post is way random. I’m trying to think of all the things I needed to vent about. Coming up short, can’t remember half of the things that happened to me.
I have a headache, I think it’s from the smell.
P.S. SF#2 cell’s been turned off. Kind of want to not call her and then when she calls I’ll say well I tried to get a hold of you and you’re phone was off so I made plans to do this instead. Hooker. I think I’m going to.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
weekend update
I HATE EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER.
THIS SHIT IS EMOTIONAL.
My Dad is making me watch it. I'm balling like a baby.
He thinks it's funny.
I'm spitting in his orange juice, or something equally evil.
So this weekend kinda blowed. Friday night we went for drinks, mostly I was starving. Saw one of the boys up at our spot. Hung out with Lucifer and Satan. Enjoyed that. Saturday night I had to deal with to guys trying to get me over to the same place. Yeah, that was going to happen. Sunday Satan and I saw Penelope and were really good at Target, oh how I want to buy things. Lots and lots of things. Sigh.
I'm all snotty and teary eyed, and he's enjoying this.
Bastard.
You will pay.
THIS SHIT IS EMOTIONAL.
My Dad is making me watch it. I'm balling like a baby.
He thinks it's funny.
I'm spitting in his orange juice, or something equally evil.
So this weekend kinda blowed. Friday night we went for drinks, mostly I was starving. Saw one of the boys up at our spot. Hung out with Lucifer and Satan. Enjoyed that. Saturday night I had to deal with to guys trying to get me over to the same place. Yeah, that was going to happen. Sunday Satan and I saw Penelope and were really good at Target, oh how I want to buy things. Lots and lots of things. Sigh.
I'm all snotty and teary eyed, and he's enjoying this.
Bastard.
You will pay.
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