hangover prevention

Sitting at the front desk for the last hour of my day really makes me think of only one thing. Sleep. I am utterly and completely exhausted. I feel like lying underneath the reception desk and closing my eyes. Just five more minutes Mom! Sigh.

This weekend is going to blow. I’ve decided it. And my self-foretelling prophecy will come true. We’re going out tonight (thank god) then I’m going to work at 7 a.m. for a few hours, then I’ll be going to the library to write my English paper, then to take grandma to church, then to dinner with the family and then last but not least to ‘hang out’ with Bryan. I will subsequently stay in bed all of Sunday napping. I hate packing a ton of shit into my weekends. It makes me feel like I have no time to myself.

Tonight, or rather when I get off, I will be going home to nap. Just for a few hours anyway. I always say that I’m going to nap but never get around to it, tonight will be different. I will make it so. I have to be up in enough time to get ready for booze.

Get ready for booze you might say? What is that? Well, my friends it is a process in which I am well schooled. It involves many steps which is where most novices in the art of drinking go wrong. Many a hangover can be attributed to missing these easy tasks.

1. Never drink on an empty stomach, or a stomach filled with only vegetables. (Unless you want to truly get hammered. Try it sometime, at your own risk.)

2. Always dress in nice clothes, but yet ones you feel comfortable vomiting in or on. (You will not catch me going out in a dress or skirt when boozing…)

3. If you’re going home at the end of the night make sure to have these three things handy; a bottle of water, some pain reliever and a trashcan. (I can’t stress enough how important it is to drink that entire bottle and take some aspirin before bed!)

4. I don’t think I need to tell you what the trashcan is for.

5. Finally if you’re a girl it’s always a good idea to have face wipes next to the bed, it is never attractive to wake up to full on raccoon eyes and mascara in your mouth. (It’s happened before, it’ll happen again.)

Rookie mistakes can make or break you Saturday or Sunday mornings. I’ve imparted this knowledge on you in the hopes that someday you’ll do it for someone else. No one should have to suffer from monster hangovers or gargoyles again. Please pass this on.

I only have thirty-three minutes left; I only have thirty-three minutes left. Boon!

Ok, it’s short and sweet and I even gifted you with the schooling of hangover prevention. I’m out! Enjoy your weekend. Hopefully I survive…