sick in the face for reals

I feel like a bad person for not posting for 5 days… At least the weekends don’t count so technically its only 3 days. For the past week I have been sick as a dog. Like miserable I don’t want to get out of bed to go to the bathroom sick. It was horrible. And even though I still sound rough, I feel way better. Minus the whole my head rings and my ears pop all the fucking time. What’s with that? Oh and today I have a rash like all over my body. Not a disgusting STD rash but more like red bumps all over my arms and legs that itch like a mother fucking riot.

If I have the chicken pox I will kill someone. You can only get that shit once right? I have no immunity so I’m not discounting that one until I talk to my Mom the RN of 20 years. She’s used to my hypocondryical personality and will hopefully set me straight with a “No. Just hold pressure, or elevate it!” schpeel. I’m fucking itchy and whiney as a mug right now. I swear its spreading at an increased rate too. Oh god. I’m getting hot and sweaty thinking about it. Ok, moving on.

When I got home early on Friday afternoon I figured I would just sleep a bit and then hang out with Satan. Reality set in at 6pm when I was sitting on the couch shivering. Even my Mom was like, “You look sick.” Which in my head equated to me dying! Don’t get me rilled up with that shit. Jesus!

I figured a nice hot shower would cure me. Wrong! When I got in it was like a drug. I stayed in there for like an hour with the hottest water pumping down. It was narcotic. When I got out I put my sweats on and jumped under the covers. Ahh… Now I want to do that when I get home.

Anyway, I went back out to see the parents and sat down to watch a little tv. That’s when it hit me. Fuck, I feel awful and I can barely keep my eyes open. I tried to deny it once again by drying my hair and getting ready for the evening. But, sickness being the evil bitch that it is wouldn’t let me be. I text Satan and cancelled. I then talked myself into I’ll just go to bed early and be fine for the bridal shower I was going to on Saturday.

Wrong again. Two hours later I was fucking delusional and talking to myself. I laid there shivering and talking to myself for 2 hours. I made my mom put two pairs of socks on me and mittens. I don’t really remember much. A lot of “You’ll be fine!” by me. Even when sick I like to be positive. But needless to say I was miserable. I slept until 1 on Saturday. Then I got up and took a shit load of medicine and went back to bed. No bridal shower. It hurt and exausted me to go to the bathroom.

Saturday and Sunday were a blur. I remember sweating a lot and being really cantankerous. I’m typically really surly when sick. Do not provoke me. I even had to call in on Monday because I coughed all night on Sunday and kept myself up. I started my week on Tuesday and I’m ready for the weekend. I’m going to do something fun if it kills me. Ugh!

Sick dreams are fucking unreal by the way. I remember a few of them but others were so bizarre that I don’t want to repeat them. Ever. I do remember the one where I was a corpse and I rolled out and coughed malaria into Jonah’s face. That was trippy.

I know this post was random. But I just wanted to recap about my SHITTY, SHITTY WEEKNED. FUCKING FLU!

Now I’m off in a half hour and I’m going to go to Barnes and Noble then go and see if I have to get calamine lotion. Fucking itchy bullshit!

I missed you posting. I really did.

*Muah*