I really hate being sick. Being sick reduces be to an incoherent idiot. I can never work up proper indignation for things and my breath stinks. All I want to do is sleep. Nothing tastes good. People wont leave me alone and yet they do that little ‘Oh your sick? Well, I’m going to take a step back because that’ll ensure I don’t contract your germs dance,’ but continue to ask me inane questions on my health? If you really cared you’d leave me the hell alone, rather now I’m reduced to a good car accident to gawk at. Leave me the hell alone people!
Last weekend was interesting for me… I got to meet Cartboy for starters. He’s funny. Satan, I and Cartboy all went to our spot on Friday night. It was interesting. First off we had to sit at a table because the bar was so crowded, rude. It’s our spot. We should have VIP positions. Anyway, after a while we snagged some spots and moved up to the bar. I didn’t have to drive so I definitely took advantage of that. I do remember having two shots called Apple Sauce’s. They were so yummy! I paid for those later because at like 5 am the next morning I woke up with like dragon fire heartburn.
Oof, back to that night though, I totally got a lap dance from a gay server at TGI-Fridays. Let’s back it up here, when I say lap dance I mean a totally graphic and inappropriate one. Grinding me so hard I almost fell off the damn bar stool. I eventually got him to stop and made him move onto Satan. He also molested our friend Joe. Oh god, the look of horror on Joe’s face made me laugh so hard. It still does. He finally left after snaking most of my drink and we then left. They drove me home and I got to sit in the backseat with Edward. It was awesome! Yes, Satan got me Edward in poster form. I couldn’t wait to give her the present I got her for Christmas, so I gave her the Twilight calendar. Sigh, so dreamy! Speaking of Twilight, the new trailer is out tonight, I have to watch it!!!
Saturday night was Lucifer’s birthday so we (Satan, Cartboy and I) went down to Gustavs in Fridley. Of course it was fucking Oktoberfest so it was packed beyond belief. Satan and I had these drinks called ‘Tie Me to the Bedpost.’ Oh lord. They we’re huge, and like 8 types of booze, but nummy none the less. It was fucking packed in there and we (meaning Cartboy and I) kept getting death stares from a certain dick. I think I mainly kept intercepting them but needless to say the anger was returned full force. Don’t pinch my flab you DICK! Don’t touch me ever again actually! I really don’t like him. I mainly used to feel sorry for this guy but now it’s fucking war. Dickface!
After being sneaky and pretending I was ill, actually I did feel like shit, we all left and I was texting in the back seat on the way home trying to get ass. I know, I know. I’m a classy bitch. I get it. So I get Bryan to agree to come and get me, SCORE! Satan and Cartboy dropped me off and I waited in front of my house for him, I then proceeded to vomit in my planter. Oh shit, things took a turn for the worse after that. Bryan got there and I told him I really didn’t feel so hot. He convinced me to come out with him anyway. I knew it was a bad idea when I made him pull over so I could vomit again! I hate when people see me puke! He was super nice about it; I think he was just glad I didn’t throw up in his precious truck.
When we got to Nel’s I was convinced I was fine and all of a sudden I’m rushing for the bathroom. I decided that I needed to ride out the storm and I would have him drive me home ASAP. I never did leave that toilet. I slept next to it. Bryan even slept in the bathroom with me, alternating rubbing my back and holding my hair and whispering you’ll be ok in my ear. He was fucking adorable. It was comical when I took off my pants and he used them for a pillow and took one whiff of them and almost threw up himself. Oktoberfest had a funny way of ending up all over your pants and then some. The smell of stale beer almost had me going again!
Nel came in at like 6 in the morning and all he did was shake his head. Side note: Amy, Jases new girlfriend, threw up all over their tv, dvds, wii and playstation 3. I totally felt bad and said that I was sorry girls keep coming over to use his house as a vomit station. He laughed and said that at least I didn’t make a mess. I totally scowered the bathroom for any signs of vomit, nothing! I am awesome.
That was my weekend… Monday night I started on this journey that I call sick. It’s Thursday now and I’m feeling better, kinda. I hope this blog makes sense. I’m on more medication than I care to admit right now. I have some funny texts I want to post, but alas those will have to wait. Who knew I’d be required to work at work, how rude!
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